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I made all the right mistakes….

Having a really bad day at work today. Usually every Friday I’m sick and tired of my dear boss, he speaks so loud and all day long, most of the time he tries to give opinions about shit he doesn’t even know and get all confused and confuses everybody else too. Everybody here at work thinks he is a joke, nobody likes him. Nobody but the owners I would guess, I mean they don’t have much respect for him either, it’s just that is not acceptable to have woman as leaders of departments apparently, so they had to find a dumb ass that can be the “supervisor”. Well he basically most of the time is lost in his emails all day, confused about something and needing me to explaining to him and decide how to fix or whatever. So I basically do all his job while he is just here being a dumb-ass. Sorry for the words. but it really upsets me. As if that wasn’t enough, he is always on the phone on personal conversations and he doesn’t even step outside for that, he stays here bothering us with his annoying loud voice and we know everything that is going on in his life and shit. Its almost like he has nobody else to share so he want us to listen. He likes, he likes me a lot, of course, he knows I’m always here saving his ass, but he thinks I’m his friend and wants to talk with me about his daughters, family, tv shows, football, etc…Some days I listen to it all day..then Friday’s I’m really sick of it..his voice keeps echoing in my head and makes me really aggravated so he keeps on talking with me and i keep on looking at my monitor acting busy and just giving him the “yep, wow, Haha….and he doesn’t realize that this mean I don’t fucking care,leave me alone… He made me went through the death of his wife like I was part of the family, I knew when she had doctor, what part they were cutting out, what medications she was in, etc etc etc.. Like, I’m sorry that is happening, but I’m weak I would rather not be involved, you know? Some days that put me really down. Now that she died, he makes sure to tells that to everybody.His last daughter that was living with him and the wife didn’t wait a week before her mom’s death to move out…Even his daughter can’t stand him…and here I am geez.. Most would say, just quit your job…but I really like my job, they all respect what I do and most know that I’m really the one running this department, I really like that I have my husband in the same company too. So yeah..Just took my lorazepam and let’s hope for the end of the day.

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Dreams…

Have been doing okay last couple of days,,
A lot of dreaming going on..
Saturday I had a dream that my head would start shaking and then I would fall,,My mom (that wasn’t my mom) grabbed me before I hit the ground and held me in her arms..My face went blurry and my face turned into a sort of cat face..ugly kind of evil looking.
I lived in this dark old huge castle..something was going on there..a party or something and my neighbors were there…
I was standing there drinking wine..by myself while everybody was enjoying everything that I was offering…the kids were running outdoor and then it started getting dark..
There was a little waterfall ..but with brown water and I went over there and saw a little foot with all star kind of shoe. I was a kid and I just remember all the adults coming over and shocked.
I can’t tell if I was the one that found the body first or not..but it seemed like everybody was judging me..thinking that I killed the kid,just because of my appearance. I remember feeling lonely, scared..but not guilty…I don’t think i killed the kid.But I was being judged.
I woke up tense after that.
The next day I dreamt that my mom (that lives in my country of origin) came and picked me up at work. Took me to her home and I was going to have lunch there,,,I was talking with my parrot (that was being extreme polite – not like the real one). But then I remembered that I forgot to clock out at work, so I started calling my “love” (that works in the same place as me) to tell him to clock me out. The phone was bad, noise and delayed ..he couldn’t understand me and I was getting aggravated.
I woke up and first thing I told him was to make sure I clock in and out at work.
Just really weird that in a couple of dreams It seems like there us no distance between my country and here. I guess It was my desire that It was like that, as I miss having my family so close again.
Then last night  I dreamt that I was with my love at some sort of mansion that was having a move out sale. We were riding with some other friend. Well I was crazy, the stuff that they were selling was so nice and cheap. I wanted a whole lot of stuff. So my love had to call and hire a truck to come by to get all the stuff. I remember I was walking and pointing everything I wanted. Then I walked to a room where a couple of people was standing and looking and I realized it was a huge wall aquarium…Like huge…but there was no glass holding the water and stuff so it was fascinating.
I remember looking and seem a cute cat but again had cat body and face but his ears were like fish..like they were moving to swim. It was a really cute cat.
But then again I moved to another room and saw a porcelain cat in one coffee table and I caught my attention too (I thought about getting it for my mother in law).
But it’s intriguing for me, to be dreaming so much about cats.
I tried to look online what is the meaning of dreaming with cats and each website has a completely different description,so I don’t know.
Other then that, Saturday night I stayed at home by myself, while my love went to his friend house to play guitar, so I stayed like 8 hours by myself..without going crazy. Yes, I made it. I was able to not even txt him or anything..nor getting worried about making him coming home. I’m sure that It helped that my dog was with me the whole time,she is my partner, won’t ever leaving me alone and It seemed like she was trying to distract me all night.
Well tomorrow is my last day at work before vacation and I’m so ready to take these couple of days off and just relax. Hoping to free my head and get closer to normal.

See ya

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